The Request-Effort Ladder: Dealing With Difficult Client Requests

You're not hotel staff, stop acting like it. Don't respond to client whims - it's doing both of you a huge disservice. A client is paying for your expertise, not your availability.

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The Weird Misunderstanding About Client/Consultant Relationships

One of the biggest misunderstandings about client/consultant relationships is the outdated idea that you need to put yourself in extreme discomfort to satisfy the whims of a client.

One of my coaching students, based in the UK, recently won a project based in the USA. She repeatedly assured the client during the sales process that she would work on their schedule.

She’s begun working from 4 pm to 11 pm to overlap with their time zone.

When I challenged her about why she was harming her social life so much to accommodate this, she said:

It’s because that’s when the calls take place. I’ve had over a dozen calls after 6 pm that have taken place over the past two weeks.

Yes, of course you have!

Because you offered that as a default option!

It became a self-fulfilling offer.

By comparison, the majority of my clients are based in the USA (on the West Coast too!), and I rarely work past 6.30 pm.

When scheduling calls, I send them a link to my Calendly with a note that says: “If none of these times work, let me know and I’ll open up a later slot.”

And around 95% of the time, they find and book slots without a problem. Because late slots aren’t a default option, they usually find a time that works.

In fact, they’re also often keen to book earlier times because they know it’s better for me.

Here’s the thing:

The vast majority of clients are kind, considerate people who want to have good working relationships with the people they work with.

…unless you tell them to treat you as an on-demand resource.

Then all bets are off.

Burn this following paragraph into your brain:

When you tell clients you’ll bend over backwards to accommodate any whim, you’re not helping them. You’re teaching them that’s how they should behave. You’re acting like hotel staff at a luxury resort, not as equal partners on a project.

Why Do People Consultants Try To Satisfy Client Whims?

I hear a lot of stories about people trapped in near-abusive consultant/client relationships.

The big management consulting firms seem especially keen on this dynamic. This comment popped up in response to one of my notes recently.

And whenever I prod to people to ask why, they usually respond with one of the following:

1. It’s what the client expects.

2. They need to be available to respond to client emergencies.

But is either of these things really true?

Think about it:

1. Expectations are set by you. I hire numerous contractors. I have a team of professionals, including a designer, a video editor, a developer, an accountant, etc I expect them to respond quickly, but never immediately.

   However, if they promise to respond within an hour to secure my business, I would most definitely expect that. I would assume that was part of what I was paying for. But typically, I expect a 48 to 72-hour turnaround time on any request.

2. There really aren’t that many emergencies. I can’t think of any emergencies in my 15 years of consulting that required me to respond within hours as opposed to a day or two. There really shouldn’t be emergencies in a consultant/client relationship. Any extremely time-sensitive requests are usually caused by bad processes on behalf of the consultant or the client. You need to resolve those processes more than the emergency. That doesn’t mean they don’t happen. But they should happen so rarely that you shouldn’t even think about it.

3. Most work is asynchronous. It doesn’t matter where you and the client are based because you’re doing the majority of the work asynchronously. You might need to have calls and meetings, but the bulk of the work is done remotely. As long as you can reasonably make yourself available for meetings, your time zone shouldn’t really matter.

4. You’re not there to satisfy short-term whims. You’re there to bring about a positive intervention to improve the client’s long-term outcome. When you start responding to client whims, you’re doing both of you a disservice. Every ‘whim’ puts you in the short-term time frame instead of the long-term. Each time you respond to a whim, your likelihood of achieving the long-term outcome declines.

But I don’t think any of these are the real reason why consultants end up responding to client whims.

The real reason is something deeper and more internal

You Don’t Think Your Offer Is Enough

You don’t think you’re enough.

You don’t think your track record, experience, and offering are enough to win a client on their own.

So you try to add anything you can think of to impress the client.

Not only is that counterproductive, but it also means you’re less likely to achieve the result you want. You’re adding in things that won’t impress the client or achieve the desired outcome.

Part of being a consultant is tackling insecurities. If you’re not winning clients based solely on your track record, offer, and sales skills, adding in some sprinkles really won’t make too much of a difference.

Why You Shouldn’t Offer The World To Win A Project

You might think that promising to respond to a client’s every whim is a winning idea, but it’s really counter-productive. Here’s an example.

Around 7 years ago, I worked with Geotab to launch their community.

It was a competitive process - me against two others, both of whom I knew well.

One day, the prospective client said:

“[Competitor] has offered to move to Las Vegas and work in our offices for four months to get this project up and running. Would you do the same?”

I didn’t miss a beat.

Me - “Haha, he must really need your business! I can’t imagine his other clients would be happy with that” [mutual laugh]

Then I said…

Me - “No, that’s not how I work at all. You don’t want me involved in the day-to-day stuff. And I don’t want to be pulled into tasks outside the scope of the project. That’s not how this should work. I serve as your external expert here. I’ll bring this community to life by following what’s worked with hundreds of clients over the years. And I’m not sure my wife would be happy with me abandoning her for 4 months.”

We laughed a little about what an extreme offer it was, and then moved on to discussing the details of how the collaboration would work.

The Counterintuitive Truth about Value Perception

This highlights a counterintuitive truth about value perception.

Offering more can devalue your offer.

Think about it yourself. Would you rather hire someone who:

a) Promises they will do anything to accommodate you.

b) Clearly explains where and how they will help you (and sets boundaries in the process).

Offering more should create a bigger value perception. However, it often reveals desperation, and you’re likely to attract clients who want to behave like jerks.

This isn’t too different from relationships.

When you are clear about how and where you add value, and stick to that, you are seen as more scarce, more valuable, and more someone they want to work with.

Here’s the key point:

Don’t sell your availability to win a client. Clients hire you for the outcomes you deliver, not for your ability to react to every short-term request. The more you promise instant responses, late-night hours, or total flexibility, the more you undermine the chances of the project succeeding.

I can’t stress enough that once you begin trying to accommodate your client’s whims, you’re teaching the client they should treat you as ‘the help’, not as a consultant.

Don’t be ‘the help’.

But Don’t Be A Stubborn Jerk Either

A quick side here…

It’s easily possible to go too far the other way. I’ve heard stories from past clients of freelancers/consultants they’ve worked with, which are exhausting.

Whenever they make a small request, it’s denied. Anything that isn’t directly related to the project initiates an out-of-scope work order. The soloist is constantly reminding and projecting their boundaries on the client, as if they felt the client was trying to take advantage.

As I’ve said before, a little flexibility goes a long way.

The Request-to-Effort Ladder

So, here’s a better way of thinking about it. You have a ladder of client requests and matched consultant effort.

Use the diagram below to set your boundary. Personally, I wouldn’t do anything above a 4 on this ladder (and I’d only accommodate 4 if it has been previously discussed (i.e., priced in) or if there is additional budget to support it.).

I recommend not doing anything above a four on this ladder

This provides a good balance between offering some flexibility, but not offering to accommodate extreme demands

Don’t Sell Your Evenings And Weekends

Every consultant faces the temptation to over-offer. To give more, to be endlessly available, to prove your worth through sacrifice. But sacrifice isn’t what your clients are buying. They’re buying outcomes.

So stop selling your evenings, your weekends, and your sanity. Start selling the results you know you can deliver. The consultant who wins isn’t the one who bends the furthest, but the one who knows how much of themselves to offer to get the right results.

Good luck!

Richard Millington

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