Client Rapport: A Simple Approach To Building Great Relationships With Clients

Don't be the downer on the call or in the meeting - but don't be a hyperactive bunny either. Find the right balance by getting your energy level just right.

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Everyone thinks their client relationship skills are better than they are

The reality is they’re usually not

Client relationship skills are a little like driving - everyone thinks they’re better than average.

Part of the problem is knowledge. Because we don’t know what good or bad looks like - it’s easy to assume we’re doing well. The other part of the problem is politeness. Even if a client doesn’t think your relationships skills are great- they’re very unlikely to tell you unless you causing direct offence.

Yet getting this right has a big impact on your ability to achieve your goals. The better the relationship, the more a client is likely to implement your solutions. Better yet, the more they are likely to be forthcoming on issues, provide testimonials, and hire you again in the future.

There’s a lot that goes into a successful client relationship. But once of the harder things to get right is your energy level you bring into any client engagement (don’t worry, I’m not talking about your aura here).

I’ve seen in junior consultants in the past there is often a mismatch in energy levels between the consultant and the client - and this can hold you back without knowing it. But it’s something you can improve with a little awareness, knowledge, and practice.

Don’t Be A Downer

When I first began consulting, I always presented myself as stoic - unemotional - concerned only with outcomes. I saw myself as something of a ‘no BS’ consulting terminator 🤖.

Anything related to the project was interesting to me, anything not - wasn’t.

I’m sure my clients at the time found it fine to collaborate with me - but I’m not sure they sensed much enthusiasm from me or liked me personally. It’s not a surprise that I don’t maintain the same number of great relationships from my first few clients as I do from our more recent clients.

I’ve seen other newbie consultants take the opposite approach. They show over-the-top enthusiasm and excitability. They try to ensure the client knows how happy and excited they are to work on the project. This comes across as very junior - often a little too eager to please.

Why do we behave this way?

When you first get started in consulting, you might suffer from imposter syndrome. You might feel like a fraud or feel incredibly self-conscious about every aspect of how you present yourself. This is natural.

After all, it takes some chutzpah to say ‘I have declared myself as an expert who can solve problems you can’t solve for yourself’.

To hide or compensate for these feelings, you adopt a persona where you feel safe. The problem is these personas and often exaggerated versions of ourselves. And it’s easy to come across as a mood-killing downer or irritatingly hyperactive.

The former puts you at risk of seeming like someone who doesn’t care about the outcome. The latter puts you at risk of seeming like someone who can’t implement the project.

Match Your Client’s Energy Level And Then Some

There’s a narrow corridor of safety between being disinterested and too junior

My advice is to try to match your client’s energy level (and then add an extra 10%).

You can see this in the diagram below.

Whatever energy level you’re getting from your client (which you will pick up on in the first few minutes), make sure you match it (and possibly add a little more).

You want to be in that corridor in the middle of the diagram between being hyperactive and a downer.

This middle corridor is the place where the client will enjoy working with you, feel you match their team, and looks forward to calls with you.

Cross The Cultural Divide

Once you start taking on international clients, the challenges multiply

It can be jarring to go from working with North-American based clients to working with clients in Europe, Asia, and elsewhere.

The energy levels are different. There’s often a lot less initial small talk in favour of engaging directly on the project (aside, the more people are on the meeting, the less small talk you should engage in).

But again if you follow the chart ahead and adjust your own behavior, you can adapt quickly. Whereas with North American based clients you might be high energy, breezy, and show clear excitement for the project, with other cultures you might be more direct, determined, and focus on communicating clearly. It’s pretty common for some organisations to care solely about the work and find small talk to be a distraction.

Here’s another example:

Launch Of A New Project

18 months ago, I was partnered with another organisation to launch a project.

On the kick-off call, the client team was running through a small introductory slide deck they had thoughtfully put together. They were passionate, enthusiastic about the project, and very chatty.

When they were finished, they it was my partners turn to update from his side. And the mood instantly plummeted. His speaking style was too slow, he flubbed a tech issue and instead of laughing it off, let his frustration show. His tone was cold and I could see he was instantly bringing down the mood.

Every sentence seemed to take forever. He probably only spoke for five minutes but by the end he had sucked all the energy off the call.

This was problematic because I had the challenge of going through all the admin aspects of the project afterwards. This includes things like invoicing, where information will be stored, who the key contact person is, when will meetings take place etc. All of this is important, but boring.

Once my partner had finished his spiel, I knew I needed to raise the energy level so I decided to take a small risk.

Ok everyone, now we’re entering the ‘tedious administrative issues we have to resolve so we can kick off the project with a bang’ round. This consists of six questions. First right answer wins…fingers on the buzzers please…”

I paused slightly to gauge the reaction and one lady on the call said:

“What do we win?”

I didn’t have an immediate response, but considering we’re building communities and communities typically involve badges I replied:

“A spot in the FeverBee client hall of fame. Everyone ready?”

I got three laughing responses in the affirmative. So kept going….

“Question no 1 for 5 points. Where do you prefer to store information about this project?”

I would only have taken this path for the most high-energy clients (as these folks were). But the point is this instantly raised the energy level of the call. Suddenly, I had everyone’s attention, and because they were enjoying the call, they were enjoying working with us.

The lesson here is to reflect on your own energy levels and make sure you’re matching your clients…and then adding a little extra.

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Thanks for reading

Richard Millington