How To Win Over Hostile Stakeholders
A major part of consulting is winning over hostile stakeholders. If you can't do this, a project might fail. You need the right philosophy and tactics to win them over to your side.
Welcome to my consultancy newsletter. If you want to build a thriving consultancy practice in your niche, I want to help. Please subscribe to my newsletter and check out my other articles. If you enjoy today’s article, then feel free to share it.
The more time you spend consulting, the more likely you are to encounter hostile stakeholders.
These are typically people who either fail to support your consultancy work with a client or proactively try to work against your goals.
This manifests itself in several ways.
They might simply ignore you. They might not respond to calls or emails and drag their feet on anything you need from them.
They might be passive-aggressive. Their tone of voice or actions might seem negative. They might use deliberately antagonistic words. They might speak negatively about you to others.
They might be outright hostile. They might disagree with you and argue against anything you do in calls or meetings (this is thankfully rare)
There are several ways to tackle this, but first, it helps to appreciate the real causes of their anger.
Why Might Stakeholders Be Hostile Towards You?
Stakeholder hostility is probably not about you. You’re simply the visible symptom of a deeper issue. This usually includes:
Perception of threat. The stakeholder might perceive you as a threat to their authority or expertise. Imagine in a previous role, your organisation brought a consultant into your domain of expertise to review your work and give you advice. How would you feel? Remember, many people are hired on the basis of their perceived expertise. How are they likely to feel when their organisation then brings in an external consultant?
Perceived interference/loss of control. A stakeholder might dislike the idea of a consultant being brought in to make recommendations on a project they are responsible for. It reduces their control.
Fear of change. It’s common for stakeholders to be scared of the change the consultant might be trying to bring about. They like things the way they are and fear losing influence.
Lack of trust. If a stakeholder doesn’t know you, why would they trust you? What right do you have as an outsider to give advice to someone who has been working in the organisation for years?
Poor communication and culture. There might be factions within the organisation and the stakeholder you’re speaking to might be in a different faction from the one which hired you. Or communication might have been poor and the stakeholder has been surprised that a consultant has suddenly been dropped on them without warning.
So while the hostility probably isn’t caused by you, it’s still your problem to resolve.
You don’t want to be the consultant who blames stakeholders for any issues caused by the project. And you certainly don’t want to be running to your primary contact complaining stakeholders are being mean to you. It’s on you to find ways to deal with it.
Three Key Rules For Engaging Hostile Stakeholders
The first thing to do with hostile stakeholders is to not increase their hostility. There are three critical rules for this.
Practice high integrity. Regardless of how stakeholders treat you, always treat them with the utmost respect and patience. Don’t ever sink into passive-aggressive behaviour (and especially not exchanging criticism). You should be beyond reproach in how you engaged your stakeholders. Trust me, this is harder than it might seem if people are being deliberately antagonistic towards you. Don’t do anything to confirm their beliefs about you. Whatever happens, be polite, kind, understanding, and tolerant.
Treat them as an expert you want to learn from. It’s always best to think of the outcome of a consultancy project like a puzzle. You have some pieces of the puzzle, they have other pieces of the puzzle, and together (with other stakeholders, you’re going to collaborate to see what the picture looks like. Always make them feel they have expertise that you don’t have (because they do!). If you ever position yourself as the expert or assume your knowledge is more important than theirs, you will be confirming their worst fears about you.
Don’t complain about them to others. Never complain about one stakeholder to another stakeholder. We wrote about this in detail here. If you complain about one stakeholder to another, not only is that criticism likely to reach the stakeholder you’re complaining about, but other stakeholders will also assume you will speak negatively about them. Likewise, protect the confidence of stakeholders. Even if a stakeholder asks what another said, simply say:
All of our conversations remain private. We won’t tell others what you’ve without your permission. Likewise, we won’t share what others have said without their permission”
How To Engage Hostile Stakeholders
Before you speak with any stakeholder, do your research. Make sure you know the basics of what they do and how long they have been in the organisation. Make sure you know about their work history, achievements they list on their profiles, and any other work details which are relevant.
Then once you’re on the call, position yourself as someone who wants to learn and help - not someone who is a threat in any way. Here are some techniques which help.
Compliment them early. I always like to find a way to compliment their work early in the call. It’s genuine. It’s not usually too hard to find something they feel proud about (or should feel proud about). Your quick review of their work history and contributions should usually yield something.
Be clear you want their expertise. I usually also tell stakeholders I’m eager to learn from their experience and expertise. I want them to know how important their expertise in the organisation is. This is part flattery, but also true. Detractors have as much value as supporters. I tell them that even if they are vehemently against this project, I want to know why and make sure we include their views in our considerations.
I ask them what would help. I don’t always begin with any fixed outcome or agenda, I simply ask what would help them in their role. They’re welcome to remain hostile and say ‘nothing’. In which case I’ll ask what kind of challenges they’re facing or what would success look like in a year’s time for them. Often I might make a statement like:
“I’m really impressed by what you’ve achieved here. I’m sure you don’t want anyone treading on your toes. So I’m curious, what would be helpful for you? We’ve worked with a lot of different organisations, we’ve seen how they function and what has and hasn’t worked for them. Is there anything that might be useful for you to know? Or any way we can help?”
They can still say ‘no, go away’ if they wish (that’s never happened). But even the most hostile stakeholder knows it’s not a good look to completely shut down on someone trying to learn and help.
The critical thing with negative stakeholders is you don’t try to force any views or opinions on them. Don’t deny their reality or argue against what they’re saying. That’s not your job. Your goal is to uncover their concerns and collaboration on what the best option for them would look like.
Take the time to learn from them, and offer to help them in any way possible. Get their feedback and thoughts on your ideas. You might still make recommendations they dislike, but at least they have been heard.
You can’t win over every stakeholder. But at the very least you should be able to limit their toxicity to the project and ensure you don’t increase their negativity towards the outcomes you’re trying to achieve.